I had a dreammmm

"I had a dream, a song to sing.."
but i don't have song to sing.. :(
hahaa..
ya.. whatever dream I have, I will post it in this blog.
Just to remind me what dream I had through out the years.

Last night, I had a very fantastic dream in my life .
really stimulate feeling as well.. adventure

Again,
I dream about I am a inspector . haha
At that time,
my teams and I are busy reloading weapons .
After that,
It's action time!!!
When in the hotel,
searching for..... don't misunderstood ..
we were not searching for extramarital affair..
we were searching for a group of terrorist ..
not suicide boomer ..
Terrorist who are commit in murder , hostage and threaten police..
If having suicide boomer,
I will surely GO first.. hahaha

After reloading our weapons ,
we are ready for hunting..
GO GO GO
I am a leader of my teams
so I had to guide them nice and steady.
It is my job when they are injure

AS we are walking with weapons like a cat along the hotel's rooms corridor (I do not know which floor),
all the rooms are open wide ,
none of single soul are there.
but then,
I saw a terrorist passing by,
lucky he did't saw me .
I quickly call my teams to get ready and backup .
Actually we all need to go to the room to catch the terrorist.
but then, we rush into the room and then run up the stairs ..
My dream so weird.. =.=
rush here rush there,
but none of terrorist get caught ..
And then, I awake from dream ..
I hate to awake.. I want to continue my dream... T.T
so sad..

Let me continue it.,. haha
As we are rushing into the room,
suddenly, "bang ,bang,bang "
I got 3 shoot by one of them..
"Oh no, that's hurt" 2 into my chest and the other one my arm,
lucky I wear bulletproof to protect myself
my sleeve  full of my blood,that's was terrible .
It is pain like hell.I can't even move a muscle .
I feel tired and blurriness in my eyes
just like been injection by drug.
but I could hear clearly
What's bullet is that? just a bullet goes into my flesh,
all of my teams rush to them and only 1 of them taking care of me.
The last thing I heard is "madam, you will be fine, keep it up!! "
and then I was blackout.

When I woke up, I realize I been tied on wooden chair with blindfolded
As I struggle to untie myself ,"ouch!! (breathe deeply)" my arm still wounded. 
I heard someone that wearing a leather shoes comes toward me, walk around me and keep in silent .
Without any thinking, "what do you want from me and who are you?" 
As someone still keep in silent and continue walk around me.
After that, he stop at the back of me and hug me.
And I could feel his tiny beard rub against my chin .
That was shock while his face rub against me. 
I struggle with shock so that he could let go off me. 
But the more I struggle, the more pain that I need to bear.
"Let go off me!! "I shouted at him.
But he don't even care about it.He hug me as close as he could.
After that he whisper to me :" I.... (breathe deeply) love your smell ."
Oh no, a rapist ? HELP!!!
"Let go off me you scumbag  !!"I shouted at him.
He let go off me and said "How are you,madam? " 
I was extremely get sock and he voice so familiar to me :"you are......"
I can't remember who is he so I asked him :"Who are you ?"
"come on madam, don't you ever remember me? "He said with disappointed  
"I am also a police, but this is a very long story. "He said
He grab and pull my hair and whisper to me :"I am the one who had been accused by you !" 
He let go off my hair with roughness and cause my arm hurt once more..
"Jason? " I answer in sock .. 
"Now you remember me, madam." He untie the black cloth that cover my eyes
I cant see clearly at first, its blurriness with light and a man shape . 
Later on, I could see clearly and see Jason face.. 
"Why? Jason.. "I ask him with full of question mark. 
"you should not be accuse me. you did a very wrong choice. It is your fault who did me like this. I want you to pay for it.!" Jason throw a chair to the wall with fear and full of haters .

"Jason, please...After you had been accused by me,I really hope that you would change into new leave .I really hope that you will not blunder again. Please release me ..please.." I beg him for begin a nice person.
"shut up!! " he slap me and grab my neck and said :" Don t you ever advise me like this.. you have not right to do that. It's all your fault that you did that to me! " he throw me fiercely on the floor .. 

TO BE CONTINUE... 

じ☆Vの

My 19th birthday.

19th of October ..

That's my birthday.. 
I cant study whole day,just hang around at home and playing with my hamster until evening..
busy replying friends that express good wish to me..
buying a chocolate creamy birthday cake with blueberry on top and some strawberry and cherry .
And also the heart shape of chocolate  .
I love creamy cake... :D

At night time, my family take me to restaurant to have dinner there.. 
very yummy and nice... 
Thanks to my lovely family.. 

Later on, my friend take me to Karaoke 。。
yup..
that's was fun enough..
sing as loud as I could..
Although out of tune .. haha
shout it...
use all the energy to sing it..
full of satisfaction while sing it..
woooooooooow.. :)
thanks to my friend again. 
I though that after dinner,
will spent time in front of computer..

thanks that you help me break the relationship among me and computer.. hahhahahah 

My birthday cake... 

Wonderful ~~

じ☆Vの

Dream Dream ..

Yup... 
Dream again.. 
The dream at this time very exciting ..
"I have almost been kidnapped "
Because I make someone angry.. 

Let me tell you a story that happen in my dream. 

I don't know where to start.. 
but i remember is my neighbor, 
Indian neighbor   
set a fire , done something bad to village . 
I don't know what something bad.. 
I just feel bad... 
ya , BAD... 

And then, when I saw this..
I quickly ran into my beautiful house and call 999 for help.. 
Finally, police came and arrest them.
Everyone peace ^^

Later on.. 
at night time,
my friend and I went to some place to take a walk. 
and we went to a book store to buy something and walk out.. 
at that time, 
my friend already walk faster than me..
"Friend, Y U NO SLOW? "
leave me alone at the back.. 
then,
I suspect that someone were following me, 
so, 
I quickly ran as fast as i could,
but,
They quickly grab me when I was running.
they grab me and cover my mouth so that I cant shout.
Luckily they didt put chloroform on me
so, I struggle and shout as loud as i could
Thanks God that my friend came to rescues me 
I escapes from the evil human.. 
:)
THE END 

じ☆Vの

Selfishness could rule the others ..

Wanna kill yourself?

Imagine this.

You come home from school one day.

You’ve had yet another horrible day.

You’re just ready to give up.

So you go to your room, close the door, and take out that suicide note you've written and rewritten over and over and over.

You take out those razor blades, and cut for the very last time.

You grab that bottle of pills and take them all.

Laying down, holding the letter to your chest, you close your eyes for the very last time.

A few hours later, your little brother knocks on your door to come tell you dinners ready.

You don’t answer, so he walks in.

All he sees is you laying on your bed, so he thinks you’re asleep.

He tells your mom this.

Your mom goes to your room to wake you up.

She notices something is odd.

She grabs the paper in your hand and reads it. Sobbing,

she tries to wake you up.

She’s screaming your name.

Your brother, so confused, runs to go tell Dad that “Mommy is crying and sissy won’t wake up.”

Your dad runs to your room.

He looks at your mom, crying, holding the letter to her chest, sitting next to your lifeless body.

It hits him, what’s going on, and he screams.

He screams and throws something at the wall.

And then, falling to his knees, he starts to cry.

Your mom crawls over to him, and they sit there, holding each other, crying.

The next day at school, there’s an announcement.

The principal tells everyone about your suicide.

It takes a few seconds for it to sink in, and once it does, everyone goes silent.

Everyone blames themselves.

Your teachers think they were too hard on you.

Those mean popular girls, they think of all the things they’ve said to you.

That boy that used to tease you and call you names, he can’t help but hate himself for never telling you how beautiful you really are.

Your ex boyfriend, the one that you told everything to, that broke up with you.. He can’t handle it.

He breaks down and starts crying, and runs out of the school.

Your friends?

They’re sobbing too, wondering how they could never see that anything was wrong, wishing they could have helped you before it was too late.

And your best friend?

She’s in shock.

She can’t believe it.

She knew what you were going through, but she never thought it would get that bad…

Bad enough for you to end it.

She can’t cry, she can’t feel anything.

She stands up, walks out of the classroom, and just sinks to the floor.

Shaking, screaming, but no tears coming out.

It’s a few days later, at your funeral.

The whole town came.

Everyone knew you, that girl with the bright smile and bubbly personality.

The one that was always there for them, the shoulder to cry on.

Lots of people talk about all the good memories they had with you, there were a lot.

Everyone’s crying, your little brother still doesn't know you killed yourself, he’s too young.

Your parents just said you died.

It hurts him, a lot.

You were his big sister, you were supposed to always be there for him.

Your best friend, she stays strong through the entire service, but as soon as they start lowering your casket into the ground, she just loses it.

She cries and cries and doesn't stop for days.



It’s two years later.

The whole school talks to a counselor/therapist at least once a week.

Your teachers all quit their job.

Those mean girls have eating disorders now.

That boy that used to tease you cuts himself.

Your ex boyfriend doesn't know how to love anymore and just sleeps around with girls.

Your friends all go into depression.

Your best friend?

She tried to kill herself.

She didn’t succeed like you did, but she tried…

your brother?

He finally found out the truth about your death.

He self harms, he cries at night, he does exactly what you did for years leading up to your suicide.

Your parents?

Their marriage fell apart.

Your dad became a workaholic to distract himself from your death.

Your mum got diagnosed with depression and just lays in bed all day.

People care.

You may not think so, but they do.

Your choices don’t just effect you.

They effect everyone. Don’t end your life, you have so much to live for.

Things can’t get better if you give up.

I’m here for absolutely anyone that needs to talk, no matter who you are. Even if we’ve NEVER talked before, I’m here for you.

じ☆Vの